THE GYM

Disgraced security guard and soon to be college grad, Andy Banak finds success as a mafia bagman while juggling his quarter life crisis and the zany personalities of South Florida who snare him into a global web of adventure.

Our anti-hero’s disgraceful mischievousness leads him straight to the unemployment line and he seeks to drown out his sorrows at the local hardcore gym. Ah The Gym! A magical place where the weights are coated in rust and blood, pictures of AHHHHNNNUUULD adorn every wall and the screams and grunts of men giving live birth fill the air! Negotiating a sordid barrio of gym rats, our disdainful champion is able to survive The Devil’s grueling calve regime, capture the eye of a beautiful maiden and land a not so dream gig with a native wisecracking mafioso bagman. When things begin to sour, as if they were ever sweet, our numero uno star takes on a questionable business partner and makes a break for fame and fortune in the exotic back drop of………. [wait for it]……Puerto Rico! Surprise, surprise things get even worse and as the bodies begin to pile up we must remember that all we need is love, which mercifully the surprise ending’s shotgun wedding dishes out in spades! Oh yea, there’s also a 72′ giant that really F’s $#!@ up too!

After failing to realize his childhood dream of operating a low quality, high volume Chinese buffet: Our beloved author, BGA, went on to successfully become fired in the following career paths: Paperboy, bagman, valet parking attendant, bodybuilder, stock boy, burlesque attendant, security officer, bouncer, cashier in an exotic dancing establishment, exotic dancer, storage facility manager, movie extra, architectural draftsman, lighting grip, professional wrestler, engineering surveyor, bodyguard, drugstore manager, construction worker, escort (I refused to sleep with the fat ones), real estate speculator, mover and author (pending). Please bear in mind that the jobs and firings are listed in no particular order and that multiple firings occurred within several of the listed occupations for separate employers. Somewhere along the line, our beloved author also managed to scrounge up an A.A degree in Criminal Justice, with honors, and a B.A degree in Finance….without honors.